In our common use today, we most often refer to lust as being a guy's problem in terms of having "lustful thoughts" (or worse) towards a woman. Jesus taught,
"You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Matthew 5:27-28
What is He saying here? It is not only sinful to commit adultery with a woman but also to have lust (or strong desire) for a woman to whom you are not married. Exactly what this "strong desire" looks like may be somewhat subjective, but I think two things are true about it. (1) This is a huge and debilitating problem with a whole lot of guys and (2) sometimes I think guys can be harder on themselves in this area than they need to be. Let me explain what I mean concerning point two. I don't think it is lust to notice a girl and even to think of her as attractive. I don't think it is lust for a young man to want to get to know a young lady that he finds attractive. It is certainly not a sin for a man to desire a young lady to the point that he asks her to become his bride. What is a sin is when a man entertains and embraces desires, thoughts, fantasies and imaginations that would be unrighteous if he were to act them out. Jesus was speaking to legalists who thought they were righteous simply because they didn't act-out their wicked thoughts. He taught that God desires truth, holiness and purity deep in our soul as well as in our outward actions.
There are all kinds of ways in which we can have strong passions for that which God does not want us to have. We may have strong desires for anger, vengeance, divisions, gossip, food, alcohol, drugs, sensuality, and other deeds of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). These fleshly lusts are extremely dangerous, for they wage war against our souls (1 Peter 2:11). They deaden our faith and spiritual sensitivities. People who are overcome by fleshly lusts soon lose interest in God and often deny the faith altogether.
The one who loves the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes does not have the love of God in him (2 John 2:15-17).
Lust can be overcome! It must be overcome! Lose the battle with lust and you will soon lose the battle to be an effective Christian. Scripture is clear on how we are to overcome lust. Here are some specific things you must do:
- But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. (Romans 13:14). Win the battle with your lust by not giving it an opportunity to tempt you. Guys who have a problem with wondering eyes and a lustful heart should not be spending time at the beach when girls prance about in bikinis. They shouldn't be on computers without programs that filter out porn. Girls who lust for food shouldn't have tempting morsels sitting around the kitchen. Make no provision ahead of the temptation.
- In reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit (Ephesians 4:22). Laying aside our old self is a mental and spiritual exercise that we should go through day by day. Simply pray to God and tell Him that you believe the "old you" is now dead, that you are putting it aside and the "new you" is going to live for Him today and every day. Believe your old sinful man is dead and buried and believe you are a new creature in Christ. This is the key to living a transformed life in which sinful passions no longer control you.
- Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22). Many Christians are terribly overconfident and think they can face down temptation and win. Actually, we are instructed to flee from the lusts that tempt us. Jesus prayed, "Lead us not into temptation." If you are in a tempting situation, don't be too proud to simply get up and leave. But then where do you go? The second half of the verse instructs us to pursue righteous, faith, love and peace and not to do it alone, but to do it with others who are seeking the Lord as well. The right friends can help you overcome your lusts; the wrong friends are sure to be a cause of stumbling to a weak Christian.
- For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. (2 Peter 1:4). Meditate on God's promises. Let His word dwell deeply in your soul. Spend both quality time and a quantity of time in God's word if you want your deepest soul to be transformed. This verse reveals the true secret to overcoming lust - become a partaker of the divine nature. The divine nature is one of love and love is the polar opposite of lust. Love gives; lust takes. Lust is a passionate desire to get; love is a passionate desire to serve others and see their ultimate success in Christ. Lust is about me; love is about others. Lust will become a thing of your past once you are deeply and fully controlled by the love of Jesus. Thus, the real key to victory over lust is not something you stop doing, but something new that you become - a person of true, deep and abiding love. A person like God Himself!
Reality Check
Do you have a problem with lust? If so, in what area?
Can you honestly see how your lust is the opposite of genuine love? How would you be different if you were ruled in the deepest depth of your soul by love rather than lust?
Go through the four steps above related to your particular area of lust and take the appropriate corrective steps.
Another Key Point
There are several times in Scripture where we are told that those who mock us do so because they are overcome by their lusts. I get mocked all the time for what I believe. I'll bet you do as well. Can you see how these mockers are mocking you because your life convicts them of their own selfish and evil passions? Understanding this helps us maintain our poise and it also helps us have compassion upon others. Check out the following verses along these lines.
- Titus 3:3
- 1 Peter 4:3
- 2 Peter 3:3
- Jude 1:16, 18
Key Verses on Lust
- Romans 13:14
- 2 Peter 1:3-4
- Romans 6:12
- 1 Peter 2:11
- 1 John 2:15-17
